Holidays

Visiting my inlaws at the holidays makes me twitchy.

Very twitchy.

I am fortunate that they are a good family--but the noise! I am barraged by the endless bickering for the sake of being heard, and the general angst brewing amongst them drives the introvert in me crazy.

Coping with the visits with my husband's family is probably the hardest thing that I do and still call "vacation."

Family situations can be rough no matter who the family is, and holidays are filled with the noise and unusual people anyway. I have at this point, several years of these visits under my belt, and I have yet to leave without a stress migrane or cigarette-induced asthma.

So, this year I am writing this book as a coping mechanism. I have also found that the community laundromat is a quiet hideaway--and a place near enough that I can disappear to collect my head, breathe and come back with a bit of refreshed attitude (without being considered "missing" and having the police called).

Here are some ways for you to gather your self and find calm in a sea of chaos (or family):

Walk Away - Walking away for 5, 10, 15...or more minutes during a holiday party, gathering or visit can be just the thing to bring you back to a more social demeanor.

Find a Hiding Place - Just like my laundromat, you should seek out a place to be and relax where people aren't likely to interrupt your quest for calm. I have talked to many introverts who have confessed to using the bathroom at parties as a place to collect themselves in relative quiet. I have been known to do the same (and for almost every lunch period in 9th grade, but that is another story), but as of late, I have been smart enough to scope out a few hiding places ahead of time. The "where" depends in where I am of course, but a little recon goes a long way to finding a more hospitable (and better smelling) place to take a moment.

The Buddy System - A spouse, child, or friend can be a godsend in a tiresome family situation. Give them a heads up and work out a system where they can be your advocate when you need to take a breather. And who is going to be upset if you "need" to take your kid home early!

Take a Call - In this age of ever-connectedness, if you need a little break from the festivities, take (or make) a call. I called my dad to chat the other day in the midst of a particularly stressful holiday gathering. The brief walk outside and the calm of taking to my dad, (who himself understands the stress of large family get-togethers) was enough to allow me to face the rest of the event.

Have a Drink - Your choice on alcohol vs. not. (You will know when to bring out the heavy artillery!) A beverage to drink gives you something to focus on, a reason to get up and walk away to fill your cup, and it can be calming. Just be careful to drink in moderation--for obvious reasons (i.e it scares people when the introvert of the party suddenly gets on the table to dance--trust me).

Those are some basic coping mechanisms for family gatherings. You will undoubtedly develop your own and adjust them to your situation, but remember that it is always better to take the time you need to be social, than to lose your cool with your loved ones, or cause yourself damaging stress.